How empathy can help your relationship ?

Try this when you are at home. Stretch your right hand with fingers open, palm facing outside like you give a HiFive. With both of your eyes open, use your left hand fore finger to touch the tip of your right hand fore finger. Able to touch easily? Ok.

Now close one of your eyes and repeat the same. Is there any difference in your experience? Yes, there should be a difference. With one eye closed try to touch any object around you and repeat same with both eyes open. You will be able to feel some difficulty with one eye closed. I am sure you would have felt little hard in touching it still you will be able to make it. Why did that happen?

BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN GOT TRICKED. Yes, Brain is unable to understand the depth of an object with just one view. You need to have two images of same object to understand its depth. This is the same technique used in Computer Vision to understand the distance of objects using different images of same object taken at same time (Stereo Vision). This will be used to enhance the 3D mapping of objects and surroundings. It is also used in Autonomous driving to understand 3D surroundings and navigate appropriately. So why this science introduction? I have always felt philosophy should be related to science and theories and not just by intuitions.

Lets say you have a good friend who looks fine may not be same when you get his view from another sight. To understand each other in any relationship, you should be having multiple views. Multiple dimensions automatically clears your depth and helps you coagulate more with the person. How to get different views of a person? It is through CONVERSATIONS. If you go for a date and you return without any knowledge or with pieces of information about that person, probably you did not have much conversation. Chatting about past experiences and life history will improve your empathetic skills towards others. In this era of social networking and virtual connections, relationship in virtual media is similar to viewing with one eye closed. People fall in love, hate each other, engage in confrontations and list goes on. Strong relationships have good empathy in them. It helps to guess, how a situation can affect the other person and you start to react in favor of them. You know what your partner likes and what not. If you go to a restaurant and order something which is not in flavour, it is going to be a bitter experience. Many relationships break just because things are not seen from different views. Speak more, understand past sufferings and breakthroughs. Most importantly, respect their sufferings and acknowledge them. Tell them you understand how it feels, guide them and show that you stand for them. This will help to correlate themselves and they start to react with same empathy. Emotions gets transferred mid air when you have better understanding. Life gets lived when relationship is smooth. Life gets terrible when understanding starts to deteriorate. Humans cannot just ignore this fact, lack of empathy can spoil the relationship.

Finally I conclude with Barack Obama’s quote on Empathy.

Learning to stand in somebody else’s shoes, to see through their eyes, that’s how peace begins. And it’s up to you to make that happen. Empathy is a quality of character that can change the world

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