Have you tried playing table tennis?
Rackets have rubber layer on both sides and touching the ball swishes it through the air.
It needs control of arm force to make it land on the opponent side.
By control it does not mean to slow down the hit.
Some players swoop the racket but ball goes spinning in air in a curved trajectory, deflecting after touching the table.
To effectively win the game, control has to be in the action as well as tracking the opponent moves.
Life puts us in similar situations. We depend on our reactions which sometimes take us out of control. We hit the life hard that the result is chaotic. Be it anger, sorrow, happiness, some reactions never wait for intellectual command. They just react as per inbuilt command that gets triggered immediately after specific stimulus. The only difference of life from TT is, in life we never look at where the ball lands after our reaction. We just respond and forget to check the trace of the result.
If we reprogram this inbuilt command, it is going to have us in control. How to reprogram this? Through self-awareness. How do you react for a situation? Does that really favor you? What could have been done better?
Have this awareness and never hit the ball out of the table.